Of course, it only took this mother's heart a matter of minutes before her thoughts were redirected.
One day, I'll put pen to paper over all the ways pregnancy and adoption are NOT similar. There's plenty out there about the parallels and how they are the same in many ways. I get that. I do. However, there are some stark, even painful differences.
Today, I felt one difference, and I felt it acutely. I didn't talk about it out-loud because pregnancy hormones would have drowned out my words with a deluge of tears. I didn't want that. I didn't 'feel' like weeping, but if you've ever been pregnant you know how tears can accompany just about anything (even an episode of Leave It To Beaver....come on, really!?!?! But, yes, it's true.).
Today, I looked at this face of my child, and I was reminded that I have another child I have yet to see. In less than 9 months, I have seen this one, felt this one, talked to this one...even 'held' this one.
Long before this child was in my womb, another child was in my heart. I have yet to see him, to touch him, to talk to him, to hold him. I have been "pregnant" with him for almost 20 months. 20 months. There is no due date for him. And sometimes that is just a really hard thing. Really hard.
We are still #17 on the waiting list. He seems so far away. Reality = he is.
So, we just continue to wait.
We wait for no particular date.
We don't check off trimesters or doctor's visits or ultrasound appointments.
We simply wait for God.
An open-ended waiting.
We wait for that giddy, thankful moment that is coming...
at some point
though still so far in the future
....when we do, in fact, get to see his sweet face!